16-Week Couples Behavioral Engineering Protocol

Couples System Rewire.
Rewire Both Systems.
Rewire the Relationship.

This is not couples therapy. It is a systematic neurological reconstruction of two nervous systems and the architecture between them — powered by the Zeaba Model, delivered through personal training and the 8-module Couples Protocol, built for permanent relational change.

Apply for Couples Rewire → See the Curriculum →
The Problem

Why Couples Programs Fail.

Every couples program you've tried targeted communication. Talk more. Listen better. Use "I" statements. And it worked — in the therapist's office. Then one bad day at work, one sleepless night, one triggering comment, and everything you learned disappeared in 130 milliseconds. Because the program never touched the systems that produce the behavior.

The Zeaba Model identifies the equation: B = f(V1, V2, V3, V4, V5) × ΔTime. In a relationship, your chronic V2 state IS your partner's V3 (environment). Your partner operates at Power Level 5 — 100,000x impact on your nervous system. The 130ms latency gap means two limbic systems can enter a feedback loop before either PFC comes online. No amount of communication training survives that architecture.

The Couples System Rewire addresses all five variables in both partners simultaneously — while rebuilding the cross-linked architecture between them. In 16 weeks. With data, not guesswork.

The Architecture

Four Phases. Sixteen Weeks.
Two Systems Rewired Together.

Phase I
Diagnostic
Weeks 1–4
Map both systems. V1–V5 baseline for each partner. Cross-system analysis. Identify what's actually driving the breakdown between you.
Phase II
Foundation
Weeks 5–8
Raise both V2 baselines. Map power level impacts. Forensic trigger architecture. Build the floor before you touch the relationship wiring.
Phase III
Rewire
Weeks 9–12
130ms Protocol training. Ventral vagal co-regulation. This is where the relationship architecture changes — because now both systems are strong enough.
Phase IV
Integration
Weeks 13–16
Structured repair sequences. Independence protocol. Build it so it runs without us. Change what ΔTime multiplies.
Week by Week

The Full Curriculum.

Every week has a specific focus, measurable targets, and integrated training + couples protocol components. Two tracks running in parallel. Nothing is filler.

Phase I Diagnostic Weeks 1–4 · "Map Both Systems Before You Touch Either"
Week 1 “The Blueprint”
Primary Focus: Full Zeaba Model Assessment — Partner A
Training (Per Partner)
  • Movement screen and physical assessment for each partner (separate sessions)
  • Baseline strength testing (grip, push, pull, squat, single-leg balance)
  • First Zone 2 cardio session (20–30 min per partner)
  • Resting heart rate + polyvagal state observation per partner
Couples Protocol
  • 60–90 min Zeaba Model Assessment: Partner A — map V1 (engram programs), V2 (neurochemical state across V2p/V2e/V2m), V3 (environment audit including relationship as V3), V4 (trigger patterns), V5 (witness capacity)
  • Introduce the equation to both partners. Write it down. This is your relationship's operating manual.
  • Begin daily V2 Self-Report for each partner (V2p/V2e/V2m, 1–10 scale)
  • Pattern Journal begins for each partner — an engineering log, not a feelings diary
Week 2 “The Mirror”
Primary Focus: Full Zeaba Model Assessment — Partner B
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio session (25–35 min per partner)
  • Light resistance training — movement quality, not load
  • Breathing integration: every rep is a neurochemical intervention
  • Parasympathetic cooldown protocols introduced
Couples Protocol
  • 60–90 min Zeaba Model Assessment: Partner B — same V1–V5 mapping
  • Review Week 1 V2 data for both partners — identify baseline patterns
  • V3 Principle preview: “Your chronic V2 state is your partner's environment. You are not just managing yourself — you are engineering their V3.”
  • Each partner rates V3 environments (home, work, relationship on 1–10 safety scale)
Week 3 “The Environment Equation”
Primary Focus: V3 Principle Deep Dive — Your Nervous System IS Their Environment
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (30–40 min) — progressive duration increase
  • Compound movements at moderate load — watch for form breakdown (physical CTZ)
  • Recovery session: stretching, foam rolling, breathing work
  • Session environment managed as V3 intervention (music, pacing, timing)
Couples Protocol
  • V3 Principle Session: map how each partner's polyvagal state (ventral/sympathetic/dorsal) shifts the other's neurobiology
  • Neuroception education: “Your partner reads your autonomic state, not your words. Children do this from birth. Adults never stop.”
  • Joint V3 audit: home environment, daily routines, morning/evening patterns rated by both partners
  • Daily V3 awareness assignment: notice one moment per day when your state shifted your partner's state
Week 4 “The First Calibration”
Primary Focus: Phase I Integration — Dual System Overview
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (30–40 min) — consistency established
  • Progressive overload begins — full-body compound movements
  • Polyvagal exercises: box breathing between sets, cold water exposure post-session
  • Baseline physical metrics documented for both partners
Couples Protocol
  • Phase I Checkpoint: present both Zeaba Model profiles side by side
  • CTZ preliminary mapping — top 3–5 relationship-relevant patterns per partner with estimated CTZ range
  • Introduce the Latency Gap: amygdala fires in 20ms, PFC in 160ms. That 130ms gap is where every fight lives.
  • Each partner receives personal System Blueprint document
Phase I Gate — Must Clear Before Advancing
Full V1–V5 assessment documented for both partners. 4 weeks of V2 self-report data per partner. Both partners can explain each variable in their own words. Preliminary CTZ patterns mapped per partner (top 3–5). V3 Principle understood and demonstrated. Baseline physical metrics documented for both.
Phase II Foundation Weeks 5–8 · "Raise the Floor for Both"
Week 5 “Power Levels”
Primary Focus: PL5 Impact Mapping — Understanding Exponential Relationship Impact
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio becomes standing protocol: 30–40 min, 3x/week per partner
  • Progressive overload continues — upper/lower split introduced
  • Polyvagal exercises standardized: box breathing between sets, parasympathetic cooldown
  • Sleep Protocol v1.0 — fixed wake time, room temp, caffeine cutoff, screen cutoff
Couples Protocol
  • Power Level Session: Effective Impact = CTZ^PowerLevel. Stranger = PL1. Spouse = PL5. PL5 = 100,000x.
  • Map specific relationship CTZ scores: which engrams does each partner activate in the other? At what power level?
  • Gottman 5:1 ratio at PL5: “A negative interaction at PL5 requires 500,000 units of positive to counterbalance. This is not metaphor. This is math.”
  • Assignment: document 3 PL5 moments this week — positive or negative
Week 6 “The Voltage Floor”
Primary Focus: Individual V2 Stabilization Assessment
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (35–45 min per partner)
  • Training variability introduced — heavy compound + lighter metabolic days
  • First controlled high-intensity interval — single exposure to sympathetic activation followed by deliberate recovery
  • “Test session”: can each partner maintain form, breathing, and V5 under load?
Couples Protocol
  • V2 data review for both partners: 6-week trend analysis across V2p, V2e, V2m
  • Nutritional V2 audit per partner — not a diet, an engineering diagnostic
  • If applicable: 21-day alcohol experiment for one or both partners (V2 restoration)
  • Relationship V2 correlation mapping: “When Partner A's V2 drops below X, what happens to Partner B's V3?”
Week 7 “The Forensic Map”
Primary Focus: Cross-Link Identification — Which Traits Activate Which Engrams
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (35–45 min) — steady state
  • Structured periodization begins: Heavy compounds / Zone 2 / Moderate hypertrophy rotation
  • Training as V1 activation laboratory — observe patterns that emerge under physical threshold
  • “Pause Protocol” introduced: stop, breathe, name the pattern when V1 fires
Couples Protocol
  • Cross-Link Mapping Part 1: Which specific sensory signatures in Partner A (tone, expression, body language, word choice) activate which V1 engrams in Partner B?
  • Map the chain: V4 (trigger) → V1 (engram activation) → V2 (neurochemical cascade) → Behavior. For each partner.
  • Historical trace: where did each cross-link originate? Developmental window? Previous relationship? Family of origin?
  • Partners begin Cross-Link Log — documenting activations in real-time
Week 8 “The Full Architecture”
Primary Focus: Cross-Link Integration + Phase II Checkpoint
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (40–50 min per partner)
  • Progressive overload checkpoint — strength numbers compared to Week 1
  • Polyvagal flexibility test: can each partner recover from sympathetic activation within 3–5 minutes?
  • Recovery session to close the phase
Couples Protocol
  • Cross-Link Mapping Part 2: reverse direction. Which of Partner B's signatures activate Partner A's engrams?
  • Complete Relationship Cross-Link Map — full bidirectional trigger architecture document
  • Phase II Checkpoint: V2 trend, physical progress, CTZ map update, Cross-Link Map review
  • Both partners receive Phase II Progress Report and Relationship Cross-Link Map
Phase II Gate — Must Clear Before Advancing
V2 self-report trend shows measurable improvement for both partners (+1.5 average each). Zone 2 cardio 3x/week sustained for 4 consecutive weeks per partner. Sleep quality improved by minimum 1 point per partner. Both partners can identify their V2 state in real-time without prompting. Relationship Cross-Link Map complete (minimum 5 bidirectional cross-links documented). Both partners understand Power Level 5 impact.
Phase III Rewire Weeks 9–12 · "The Systems Are Now Strong Enough to Change Together"
Week 9 “The 130ms Gap”
Primary Focus: Latency Gap Recognition — Training the Pause Between Stimulus and Response
Training (Per Partner)
  • Structured periodization peaks: Heavy compounds (3–5 reps) / Zone 2 / Moderate hypertrophy (8–12 reps)
  • Training as V5 activation laboratory — complex movements with attention challenges
  • “V5 challenges”: exercises under mild V4 stress (time pressure, verbal distraction, unfamiliar patterns)
  • Zone 2 maintains 3x/week — non-negotiable during demanding rewire phase
Couples Protocol
  • 130ms Protocol Session 1: “The amygdala fires in 20ms. The PFC comes online in 160ms. That 130ms gap is where every fight you've ever had was decided.”
  • Develop individual dysregulation signals: each partner creates a physical signal meaning “my V5 is offline right now”
  • Structured Pause Protocol: Signal → Acknowledge → Separate (5–20 min) → Return with V5 online → Resume
  • Practice round 1: controlled low-stakes V4 activation with immediate signal/pause practice
Week 10 “The Shared Operating System”
Primary Focus: Shared Pause Protocols + Real-Time V5 Coordination
Training (Per Partner)
  • Zone 2 cardio (40–50 min)
  • Performance pushing — training intensity building toward Phase III peak
  • V5 under load testing: can each partner maintain present-moment awareness while fatigued?
  • Deliberate sympathetic activation → parasympathetic recovery drills (HIIT intervals with measured recovery)
Couples Protocol
  • 130ms Protocol Session 2: practice with moderate V4 activation — discuss a topic that historically triggers mild conflict
  • Real-time V5 coaching: observe both nervous systems during a conversation and identify the moment V5 goes offline in either partner
  • Refine pause protocols based on Week 9 practice — what worked, what failed, why
  • ΔTime education: “Time does not heal. Time multiplies. Every unrepaired rupture compounds. Every successful pause compounds.”
Week 11 “The Bridge”
Primary Focus: Ventral Vagal Co-Regulation — Using Your Nervous System to Regulate Theirs
Training (Per Partner)
  • “Performance Week” — training intensity peaks for the program per partner
  • Strength re-testing — are we at new personal records?
  • Controlled trip to Zone 4/5: “The edge is where we find out if the new architecture holds.”
  • Recovery session to close the intensity peak
Couples Protocol
  • Co-Regulation Session 1: “When you are in ventral vagal, your nervous system literally tunes the other person's toward safety. This is measurable.”
  • Breathing synchronization exercises: sit facing each other, match breathing rate, then one partner deliberately slows
  • Voice prosody training: the difference between sympathetic tone and ventral vagal tone. Practice speaking from ventral.
  • Physical co-regulation: hand on partner's chest, synchronized breathing, eye contact with softened gaze. Measure heart rate response.
Week 12 “System Under Shared Load”
Primary Focus: Co-Regulation Under Stress + Phase III Checkpoint
Training (Per Partner)
  • Deload week — reduce volume, maintain intensity, focus on recovery
  • Zone 2 fully at target duration (45–55 min)
  • Polyvagal flexibility re-test: recovery time from sympathetic activation compared to Week 1
  • V5 capacity re-assessment under physical stress
Couples Protocol
  • Co-Regulation Session 2: practice co-regulation during a moderate conflict topic. Can one partner regulate back to ventral while the other is activated?
  • Phase III Checkpoint: Cross-Link Map Week 4 vs Week 12. V2 12-week trend line per partner. V5 re-assessment.
  • Behavioral outcome inventory: what has actually changed? Not feelings — specific, observable relational behaviors.
  • Both partners receive Phase III Progress Report
Phase III Gate — Must Clear Before Advancing
Both partners demonstrate 130ms Protocol in controlled setting (signal, pause, return). At least 3–4 cross-link patterns show measurable change (decreased frequency, intensity, or increased V5 awareness). V2 baseline +2.0 from Week 1 for both partners. Co-regulation exercises show measurable heart rate entrainment. Conflict frequency shows measurable reduction from baseline. Training numbers show progressive improvement for both partners.
Phase IV Integration Weeks 13–16 · "Build It So It Runs Without Us"
Week 13 “Controlled Repair”
Primary Focus: Structured Repair Sequences Using the Reconsolidation Window
Training (Per Partner)
  • Training autonomy phase begins: each partner designs portions of their own sessions
  • Zone 2 independently managed — clients set pace and duration
  • Complex movement patterns with V5 integration challenges
  • Session design focuses on long-term sustainability, not peak performance
Couples Protocol
  • Repair Session 1: Introduction to the reconsolidation window. “Every time a memory is activated, it becomes labile for ~6 hours. During that window, the engram can be recoded.”
  • Select first cross-link pattern for structured repair: activate engram (V4) → ensure V2 adequate → V5 online in both → corrective experience → reconsolidation under safety
  • Repair Protocol: Acknowledgment → Ownership (V1 origin, not blame) → Re-experience under ventral vagal conditions → New encoding
  • Post-repair V2 monitoring for both partners for 48 hours
Week 14 “The Recode”
Primary Focus: Extended Repair Work + Relapse Architecture Education
Training (Per Partner)
  • Sustained training autonomy — one session designed entirely by each partner
  • “Chaos Session”: deliberately unpredictable training. Exercises change mid-set. The brain learns at the Edge of Chaos.
  • Zone 2 fully independent; each partner reports data
Couples Protocol
  • Repair Session 2: address a second cross-link pattern. Same protocol. Deeper material.
  • Relapse architecture education: “A relapse is not a failure. It is a V2 crash. When V2 crashes, V5 goes offline. The answer is V2 restoration, not self-blame. Not blaming each other.”
  • Couples V2 Emergency Protocol design begins: what does each partner do individually when their system crashes? What do you do together?
  • ΔTime projection: “Where does this relationship system go in 3, 6, 12 months if you maintain this direction?”
Week 15 “The Independence Test”
Primary Focus: Self-Directed Protocol + System Stress Test
Training (Per Partner)
  • Full autonomy training week — both partners design and execute their own full sessions
  • One partner trains while the other observes and provides V5 feedback (role reversal exercise)
  • Zone 2 + strength fully independent with data logging
Couples Protocol
  • Independence Protocol Design Session: build the daily, weekly, and monthly system for maintaining the rewire
  • Daily: V2 self-report per partner, one co-regulation practice (2-min breathing sync before bed)
  • Weekly: V3 home audit, relationship check-in using Zeaba framework language, review conflict/repair log
  • Real-world stress test: no coaching contact for 3 days. Partners use all protocols independently. Debrief follows.
Week 16 “Graduation”
Primary Focus: Full System Integration + Handoff
Training (Per Partner)
  • Final physical re-assessment — every baseline metric from Week 1 re-tested per partner
  • “Peak performance” session: all five variables aligned. This is what your system can do.
  • Final Zone 2: same protocol as Week 1. Lower HR, higher output, faster recovery. Proof of change.
Couples Protocol
  • 90-minute Graduation Review: Week 1 vs Week 16 across every metric for both partners and the relationship system
  • Independence Protocol handoff: training programs per partner, V2 emergency protocol (individual + couples), V3 maintenance, monthly check-in cadence
  • Relationship System Dashboard handoff — full data package
  • “The clock is running. ΔTime multiplies whatever direction the system is moving. That choice is V5. And V5 is now both of yours.”
Measurable

Target Outcomes by Week 16.

Not promises. Targets — calibrated to your baselines and tracked with data every week. Individual metrics per partner. Relationship metrics for the system.

40–70% Conflict Frequency
Reduction
3–5x Repair Speed
(rupture to resolution)
+2.0 V2 Composite Score
per Partner
2–3x V5 Witness Capacity
per Partner
+40–60% Co-Regulation Score
(HR entrainment)
-5–10 Resting Heart Rate
per Partner (bpm)
+15–25% Strength Improvement
per Partner
+2.0 Sleep Quality
per Partner
+20 min Zone 2 Capacity
per Partner
80%+ 130ms Protocol
Success Rate
Deliverables

What You Both Walk Away With.

You're not paying for 16 weeks of training. You're paying for a complete operating manual for your relationship — and for each system within it.

📋
Individual System Blueprints — personal Zeaba Model V1–V5 profile for each partner (Weeks 1–2)
🧠
Relationship Cross-Link Map — bidirectional trigger architecture between both partners (Weeks 7–8, updated Week 12)
📊
Phase Progress Reports — data-driven comparisons at Weeks 4, 8, 12, and 16 for both partners
🎓
Graduation Report — comprehensive 16-week data summary with before/after Zeaba profiles for both partners and the relationship system
🛡
Independence Protocol — daily, weekly, and monthly system for maintaining the rewire (individual + couples version)
💪
Post-Program Training Templates — complete 8-week training program per partner for independent work
🚨
V2 Emergency Protocol — individual crash protocol per partner + couples version for when the relationship system destabilizes
📈
Relationship System Dashboard — tracked data for both partners including V2 trends, conflict frequency, repair speed, co-regulation scores, physical metrics
The Commitment

What a Typical Week Looks Like.

Training
2–3 personal training sessions per week per partner (in-person DC/DMV or remote)
Protocol
1 biweekly couples protocol session (60–90 min) — becomes weekly during Phase III
Check-in
1 weekly 30-minute coaching call (alternating: individual check-in per partner / couples check-in)
Tracking
Daily V2 Self-Report per partner (30 seconds) + Cross-Link Log (during Phases II–IV)
Access
Direct messaging with Mustafa between sessions — both partners, no gatekeepers
Total
100+ touchpoints across 16 weeks. 64–96 training sessions (32–48 per partner). 8–12 protocol sessions. 16 coaching calls. 8 formal assessments.
Investment

Three Ways to Rewire — Together.

Couples Rewire
16 Weeks
The full program as described above. Dual assessment through graduation. 8 modules. For couples ready for a complete system overhaul of both nervous systems and the architecture between them.
Couples Rewire: Extended
24 Weeks
Foundation + 8 additional weeks of deep Phase III/IV work. For couples with more complex cross-link architecture, deeper trauma histories, or V2 baselines that need longer to stabilize before rewire work begins.
Ongoing Maintenance
Monthly
For graduated couples. 4 training sessions/month per partner, biweekly check-in, quarterly cross-link map review. Maintain the rewire. Keep ΔTime multiplying in the right direction — together.

Investment discussed on discovery call. Each program is custom-built — no two couples are the same.

Questions

FAQ

What happens in the first 4 weeks if we've never done couples therapy?
Phase I is purely diagnostic — we map each partner's V1–V5 architecture and begin the V3 Principle education. No conflict work, no deep processing. Just understanding how both systems work and how they interact. The training begins raising V2 baselines immediately. You don't need any prior therapy experience.
What if one partner progresses faster than the other physically?
Expected. Each partner trains individually with a program designed for their baseline and goals. The training tracks are completely independent. What matters for the couples protocol is that both V2 baselines are trending upward — not that they're equal. The gates measure individual progress relative to each partner's starting point.
How are the gate requirements enforced?
Strictly. If one or both partners haven't cleared the gate, we extend that phase. We don't advance to reconsolidation work (Phase III) with depleted V2 baselines — that's how you re-traumatize instead of repair. The gates exist because the science demands them, not because of arbitrary timelines.
What is the Cross-Link Map and why does it matter?
The Cross-Link Map is a forensic document showing exactly which sensory signatures in Partner A (tone of voice, facial expression, specific words) activate which V1 engrams in Partner B, and vice versa. No other program creates this. It transforms "you always do this" into "this specific signal activates this specific engram encoded at this developmental stage." It changes the conversation from blame to engineering.
What is the 130ms Protocol?
The amygdala fires in 20–30ms. The prefrontal cortex comes online in 160–210ms. That 130ms gap is where every fight escalation happens — your brain reacts before your consciousness arrives. The 130ms Protocol trains both partners to recognize the gap in real time, use a shared dysregulation signal, and execute a structured pause before the limbic feedback loop locks in. It's practiced first under controlled conditions, then applied in real life.
Can we skip the training and just do the protocol?
No. This is non-negotiable. Zone 2 cardio produces atrial natriuretic peptide (ANP), raises serotonin and BDNF, restores vagal tone, and tunes the brain to criticality — the exact neurological state where the protocol work takes hold. Without the training, the protocol is building on sand. The training IS the foundation.
What if a real crisis happens mid-program?
The program is designed for this. Crises are V2 crashes with V4 activations at PL5. We use the crisis as real-time data: Which cross-links fired? Which V1 programs ran? Was the 130ms Protocol attempted? A crisis during the program is an activation under controlled conditions — which is exactly when reconsolidation can happen. We don't pause. We use it.
What does maintenance look like after graduation?
You receive a complete Independence Protocol: daily practices (V2 report, co-regulation exercise), weekly practices (V3 audit, relationship check-in), and monthly practices (Cross-Link Map review, V2 trend analysis). Most couples transition to the Ongoing Maintenance tier — 4 training sessions per month per partner, biweekly check-in, and quarterly re-assessment. The goal is genuine autonomy.

Ready to Rewire
Both Systems — Together?

Book a free 30-minute discovery call. One partner or both. No commitment, no pitch. Just an honest conversation about your system — and whether the Couples System Rewire is right for you.

Book Your Free Call → See the Couples Program Overview →

Washington Harbour · 3050 K Street NW, DC 20007 · In-Person & Remote
NASM-CPT · CHEK Practitioner L1 · Creator of the Zeaba Model